Is it valid for me to end an engagement to a man who is of good character just because I cannot stand his physical appearance? He is shorter than I and that is very unattractive to me, but I feel that I am torn between my religion and my desires, since I will essentially be losing a man whose intention is to build a good Muslim family. What should I do?
The Almighty has blessed human beings with an aesthetic taste. So making decisions governed by such a taste cannot be primarily objected to. The Prophet (sws), consequently on this basis advised men and women to have a glimpse of one another before marriage. It is reported that in Madīnah, he asked Muslim men to be careful about marrying women of the Ansār tribe since they generally had some kind of defect in their eyes.1 Similarly, he even terminated the marriage of a lady on her request since she was much more beautiful than her husband .
So if you think that in spite of all the good mannerisms found in your fiance, it is difficult for you to stand your fiance’s physical appearance it is better to take this seemingly harsh step of terminating your engagement than to psychologically suffer all your life.
1. Muslim: Kitābu’l-Nikāh