I am confused about oaths and vows. Are we allowed to say to Allah the great if He help me I will do such and such a deed. I know obviously we are not allowed to ask for sinful things but the whole concept of vows and oaths seems bad to me as I don’t think it is correct to bargain with Allah in anyway. Also are there certain things that we can do or is there any appropriate manner for having our wishes granted if making vows and oaths to Allah the great is wrong? Please advise me on this. I am very confused.
Pledging vows or taking oaths is not something that the Almighty has asked of the believers to do in order to have their wishes granted. In religious terminology, it is usually referred to as Mannat or Nadhr with the same connotation of taking an oath before Allah that if He would grant a certain wish, the person would carry out a certain deed.
The right attitude, as you ask me, is to place all your wishes and needs in your outstretched hands and present very humbly before the Almighty. He would surely accept your gift and return to you a better one. What needs to be appreciated is the fact that numbers of Salāh offered or the fasts observed, for having wishes fulfilled, do not hold much value as our emotions of gratitude and humbleness carry in the sight of Allah. He does not need our wealth or spiritless ritual worship though He gives high value to the heart that is brimful of the feelings of gratitude and thankfulness. I therefore do not consider it appropriate to pledge Mannat or Nadhr. However, if someone has done so, he would be required to carry out what he has pledged in case his wish is granted because it is like a promise and we are supposed to fulfill our promises. It must be kept in mind that if offering of Mannat entails disobedience to Allah, the person shall be required to break his promise and do atonement as is prescribed for breaking an oath. The Prophet (sws) is reported to have said:
Nadhr must not be fulfilled if it entails disobedience to Allah and its atonement is the same as prescribed for an oath. (Abū Da’ūd: No. 6622)
You have commented that it seems wrong to you to bargain with Allah. I would like to add that it looks awfully odd to me to spend, fast or offer worship of sacrifice in condition to having your wishes granted.
The reason that it was not proscribed by the Prophet (sws) is perhaps because the ultimate objective is still to please the Lord though he has vehemently proclaimed that those who pledge a covenant to anyone other than Allah commit an act of polytheism (Abu Da’ūd: No. 3251). We therefore must be vigilant at least about this instruction of the Prophet (sws) if we cannot hold back from pledging a Nadhr at all.