My ninety-year old father-in-law just passed away and my husband would like to bring his aging mother to stay with us in the US. Is she allowed to leave her house before her Iddat has expired? Are there any exceptions? What if she is unable to live by herself?
Yes, she can certainly come and stay with you. Travelling during Iddat is not prohibited; staying at home during Iddat is no directive of the Sharī‘ah, as is generally understood. It needs to be appreciated that there are two basic objectives for this waiting period (Iddat) for a widow:
1) To ascertain whether she is pregnant or not. If she is, this waiting period extends to the birth of the child.
2) To provide her with some time to adjust to the situation of her husband’s demise.
For ladies who have passed the child bearing age, as in your mother-in-law’s case, obviously the first condition does not apply. As far as the second one is concerned, it is befitting that a widow, during this period, should not go about doing things which are against its objectives stated above. The mourning period has its own sanctity and a widow should observe this period with solemnity and austerity. Keeping these objectives in consideration, she can lead her life in any way she wants.