Question: My father lives in Lahore. He has started to go to the mosque more regularly, which is a good sign. However there are some Tablīghī people in the mosque who are teaching him different things? I don’t know the content of teachings, but ever since his personal visits to a Tablīghī, he has become more secretive and withdrawn from his family.
My father is aged and retired, I fear that he might become a victim of Tablīgh and then sell everything for the so called worthy causes. Please advise me what to do. Without prejudice I find that this Tablīghi is an aggressive man on the phone and also very rude. My father does not listen to me and I fear that the Tablīghi might take control of him. Please advise.
Your concern is but logical and I would suggest that just for a moment imagine yourself your father’s place; this would probably provide you with the answer to many questions. He is a retired person and most probably he needs some activity in order to keep himself busy. Have you suggested him some activity which could fulfill his spiritual needs? Have you asked him in pleasant atmosphere the gain, which he has acquired from the Tablīghī people. Have you discussed with him their philosophy. Have you discussed with him the equivalent alternatives of his present activity? Have you tried to understand the background of that Tablīghī’s rudeness? It might be a reaction of some past dialogue with you.
It also seems that there is a communication gap between you and your father: have you striven to bridge this gap? Try to assure your father and that of his Tablīghī friends that you are their well-wisher and not an opponent of their cause. Place before them your social reservations and disturbance which might occur to your family setup and ask them the solution to that. Try to study the basis of their philosophy and the religion as a whole. Thereafter, put before them your queries in a pleasant atmosphere; and unless they provide you with the satisfactory answer, continue to ask them with steadfastness. It is high time you equip yourself with the ‘weapon of reasoning’ but that requires serious study and comparative knowledge of different philosophies of various religious schools of thought. No doubt it is a difficult modus operandi but, in turn, it will provide you with a tenacious hold on the subject. Moreover, also try to develop your own relationship with the mosque. It will help you a lot not only in order to find the alternatives but also to fulfill your own religious needs which are undoubtedly required of every Muslim irrespective of the fact whether he is young or old. Also try to seek the help of some other friend of your father who also has some influence upon him. Put before him the whole situation and seek his suggestions. It might be helpful in this regard. Try to spare some time for your father, open your heart before him and let him realize his importance in your existing family setup. This will, inshā ‘Allah, be fruitful though it will take some time and always remember that sincerity of intention and motive is a prerequisite to succeed in such an undertaking.